Hello everyone. I’m not doing well financially, emotionally, and relationship wise. I have nobody I can confide in, I haven’t had friends beyond online people since I finished high school 4 years ago. I don’t know anybody who can really give me the help I am seeking, which is essentially someone to tell me what I need to do to make it. I am not cut out to be an adult yet, free to make all the decisions including the terrible ones. I live in constant fear that I will make a horrible decision, like taking a large loan, and regret it for years or decades.
The reason I can’t see a future where I am self-sufficient is that I’m now 22 and not anywhere near independent yet. I know there are plenty of young adults who live with their parents at my age, but I need to clarify: I am unemployed, I am no longer in college, and I am gripped with severe anxiety and depression, that really intensified after losing my brother last year. I don’t have any sort of counseling nor am I too thrilled with the idea of seeing somebody. Actually that makes me anxious too.
Most of my peers from high school have now graduated and are either working great full-time jobs, living on their own or about to be, and some have children. My sister lived on her own at 18. My mental state, my personality, everything fiber of my being is against the idea that I could ever make it on my own (at least right now). I am not strong enough.
Financially I’m a ruin. Though I have money in the bank and have no expenses right now besides internet, and I’m careful with my money, what I have will not help me if it comes to not having a home. That is what I’m faced with: homelessness, or living in terrible, exposed conditions in a living room in an abusive family (I’d rather take homelessness).
My narcissistic mother hatched the idea of moving. It’s a downsize from our current home and it won’t have room for me. I won’t have a private space to study, do any online work, or just relax in peace. I need to be able to escape from the chaos and I can’t.
I can’t survive. I can’t live without a private bedroom with a lock on it. I can’t live on my own yet. I can’t find a studio anywhere that will be affordable and still able to reach places I need to go. I don’t live in a major city, and the bus routes are sparse, so a car is mandatory if I hope to return to university. I don’t have a license or a car, but if I get a license (hard with anxiety) my family might have an old car I could take.
My first objective is to find work, even part time, despite my social anxiety because I know the money is vital. It is hard, though, terribly hard with the mindset I have. My second thought is to try to seek emergency affordable housing or something along those lines with my university, state or town. This is what I need help with.
I have no money to pay for student housing on or off campus. Do state universities offer assistance to students in extreme financial need, facing unstable living conditions or homelessness? How would I demonstrate these things? When I say “emergency assistance” I mean severely reduced rates to live in a decent place and attend school. I do not mean to take out a giant loan, I am in the lowest socio-economic status, I can’t ever pay back these loans that some students take out. I need government financial housing assistance for my situation and need help finding out how to take advantage of it.
Thank you. I want to find the way to my own success, but I need your help. I am not equipped to do this alone. I don’t know enough about how the world works.